Category Archives: wellness

Overcoming Adversaries

The kids were naive. They didn’t understand how their joking could hurt my son. Calling him names that highlighted a post-surgery physical challenge had become a past time for them until he mentioned it to me. I addressed it immediately with their parents. The name-calling never happened again and thankfully my son’s physical challenge resolved after five months, after the healing of the surgery was complete.

Lots of hugs and prayers helped him acknowledge the hurt but not be overtaken by it. My husband and I embraced the opportunity to instruct our son how to forgive and not identify with “labels”. That was only part of the work. We also needed to forgive these kids, who would continue to be a regular part of our lives. My son’s experience made me reflect on my own childhood and being called names like “Oreo girl” by my black friends or having a white teacher ask me if I put toothpaste in my hair to make it so shiny. Unfortunately, a few times I used my hurt to wound others. Calling them names made me feel strong. Whether we have been the victim or we are the reformed bully, God has healing and restoration for each of us.

Honestly and vulnerability can heal families and communities. We should acknowledge how our own opinions, habits, and words have hurt someone but we realized it and changed; how a challenge suppressed us but we rose up and out from it; how life tested us, but we overcame. We must find moments of victory or overcoming that can be used to encourage someone else. We must humbly acknowledge a time or an instance where “we were the problem” and consider the process through which we became so self-aware, that we allowed someone else or divine power to change our hearts and minds.

We must believe that God is good and wants good for all people, even those that we call evil. He doesn’t want to bless their evil intentions and works, but he wants to endow them with the ability to know right from wrong and to discern light from darkness. He ultimately wants them to have a story to share that will bring life to those around them. This is why Jesus told his disciples to “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Matthew 5:44)

Sometimes conflict with someone continues so long that we believe God doesn’t hear us or can’t change our oppressors. Maybe we are hurting so much that we just don’t have the compassion to pray for them. If we can envision Him hugging us or weeping with us and if we recall our own failures, our graciousness will arise.

Robert Frost wrote these words in the poem “The Star Splitter”,
If one by one we counted people out
For the least sin,
it wouldn’t take us long
To get so we had no one left to live with.
For to be social is to be forgiving.’ 

“Lord, we try to escape pain, but we can’t. We hope that those who love us will never wound us, but they will. Unfortunately, at some time we will also hurt someone willfully or by mistake. Have your Spirit tend to our wounds and humble our hearts. Move us to forgive our adversaries and ourselves. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Our Greatest Cheerleader

“That’s great, Tina!

My fingers ran clumsily over the white keys of my mother’s piano. I was lost in a childish reverie of imagination. One minute I was a concert pianist and the next, I was a daughter whose silly playing was lulling her dad to sleep.

My dad sat behind me in my mother’s rocking chair, rocking and dosing, in no rush to leave, which surprised me but warmed my heart. My daddy was content to hear me play on the piano even though I’d taken lessons for a short time.

“Oh, play that again, that was nice!”

This memory is etched in my soul. I treasure it since so many memories of my childhood years had to be healed by God’s compassion. As a child, I didn’t see my dad relaxed and content very often; his time was usually spent on projects or sports or shouting and it’s the latter that makes this single moment a gift from God.

Silhouette of little girl leaping in the sunset.

As children, it is appropriate to want a parent, a favorite teacher or any regular caregiver to be our greatest fan. We are born needing affirming words. Studies have been done showing that babies respond differently whether they see a frown or a smile.

There are times when the people most vital to our care cannot give us what we need. It’s a painful reality that often shapes our emotional development and taints our self-image. My gift, this memory that God brought forth during a season of emotional healing, showed me that my dad had a tender place in his heart for me.  Some people don’t have a memory like this to hold on to and for years they scratch their hearts wondering, “What was so wrong with me that I couldn’t be loved or wanted?”

For many people, over time the mystery unravels and family secrets are brought to light and the scratching of the head becomes a nod of understanding that heals the ache a little. Understanding can help begin to close the door of pain, but the void remains. We need to be affirmed and encouraged. We need someone who takes pleasure in our existence.

For me, the road of healing opened my eyes to a screen that exists between my tangible temporal reality and the unseen eternal reality. I needed to see the unseen. Though the screen I saw the fears and insecurities behind the shouting. I saw parental heartache when material displays of love went unreceived by a bitter and hurting teenage girl.  What brought the most healing was when my eyes saw a figure reaching his arms to the little girl within my soul, urging me to come to him and be held so that his divine love could make every bad memory fade away. I saw scenes from my childhood home where this figure stood in a corner of a room, weeping and praying and agonizing over the pain felt by the humans in the room. His nail-scarred hands were chained – human pride and resistance had shackled his ability to deliver and rescue. I also recognized this figure as the man hanging on a cross in a book in one of my grandmother’s bedrooms. For years, my spiritual eyes would look behind the screen and see the figure with the outstretched arms encouraging me to come to him.

Finally, one day I saw behind the screen again and the little girl that was me crawled up onto his giant lap and buried my aching head into his bosom. My tangible pain was washed away by my new eternal reality. Isaiah 53:4  Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…

Psalm 28:6-7 Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplications! The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.

Jesus is our biggest cheerleader but most of us don’t know it. He’s there in the darkest scenes of our lives, trying to show us that he is not the author of those scenes but the desperate rescuer trying to break through the darkness. He’s the one that brushes the dirt off of our knees when we fall and when we fail he reminds us to come to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help when we are in need.  When we long for affirmation and encouragement, we have to ignore the silence of our parent, the teacher or the caregiver and hear him say, “That’s great son!” or “That’s great, daughter!”

Psalm 27: 10-14
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me…
 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

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Realizing that Our Kids Can Become More Important to Us than God

Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the Lord. 1 Samuel 2:12

So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the Lord’s people transgress…Nevertheless, they did not heed the voice of their father… 1 Samuel 2:23-5

Eli

Eli was a priest. How in the world did the sons of a priest become corrupt and unrighteous? It was their dad’s fault. When it came to raising his kids, Eli had areas of emotional immaturity.  Emotional immaturity and a weak will kept Eil from applying his knowledge of God’s ways to his parenting style. In verse 27, God speaks to Eli through a prophet and later through a young boy named Samuel (1 Sam 3:13). Both tell him the harsh reality about the way he raised his sons and the forthcoming consequences to his lineage.

For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.

Eli preferred his children more than he revered God. How would this have looked? It may have meant that when his sons were mischievous boys, he did not discipline them. He let them get away with more than he should have. Maybe he catered to their whines and false apologies and never helped them see the sin in their hearts through gentle and honest conversation. As a priest, he did not teach them to honor the systems of offerings and sacrifice and he greedily took the best of what the people brought for their offerings. The fact that he preferred his children more than God was idolatry.  At the stage where we meet Eli, he was a priest who did not revere God enough, did not revere the system of repentance that God set up, hadn’t acknowledged his own issues, and was confronted with the scandal of his sons.  Propitiation of their sinful behavior was available through the Hebrew practice of blood sacrifice, which foreshadowed Jesus’ bodily sacrifice, but the sons scoffed at offerings and sacrifices.  Now grown men, they were promiscuous and defiant adults. When Eli tried to reason with them, it was too late. He missed the opportunity to guide and train them during their formative years.

Eli and Samuel.  And he said 'It is the Lord:

Now Eli wasn’t a total screw up. Despite being faced with his fatherly failures, God allowed him to mentor the young Samuel, who was called from an early age to be a prophet. Eli affirmed Samuel as he learned to hear and obey God even when the boy was tasked with telling Eli his forthcoming demise. Because of Samuel’s success story, Eli became one of the most important prophets in Jewish history. He was a man who eventually recognized his issues, addressed them and became a different man. This was the man that Samuel was trained by.

When we are confronted with our issues we must remind ourselves that we have the opportunity to change. We must be quick to close the door to self-condemnation and guilt. When we humbly acknowledge areas of immaturity, God steps in and begins the unseen and somewhat mysterious process of changing our hearts and minds.  

The truth is that we are fallible adults who still need guidance and help. We are not all bad and we are not all good. Better than those two subjective measuring sticks is this truth: we are treasured! In Christ, we are forgiven! We are desired by a perfect God! Worth cannot be based on how well we do, but on the fact that our very existence is significant. The Old Testament did not offer the option for redemption, but the New Testament does through the blood sacrifice, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ. This redemption is so amazing, that today’s parents who may have been “Eli’s” at one time and whose adult children are now prodigals, whose hearts and minds are far from God’s best, enjoy the possibility of these adult children can be wooed by the Spirit of God. The course of a lineage can be altered by the grace of God through Jesus Christ. 

I believe in a Creator who imagined each of us out of the goodness of his nature.  We have to keep our eyes on the process of change, not the goal. God is in charge of the finish line; we just need to yield to the journey.

…being confident of this very thing, He who began a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ  Philippians 1:6

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Weeding the Soul

May Guest Blog on Crossreads.com

My backyard provides God such a wonderful backdrop for my education. Gardening teaches me that many of nature’s processes mirror our struggles. Take weeds for instance. What a wonderful metaphor for life’s yucky stuff that embeds in our souls when we are not paying attention.

I hate weeding. Our backyard contains mulch beds for my herbs, lilies, azaleas, chrysanthemums and an array of other perennials. Not only is weeding physically tiring—hours of squats, tugging and pulling, but it’s also messy. The weed in this picture didn’t images (6)look like a weed at first glance. I figured that it was grass that had grown from the clippings that sprayed the mulch beds. So for a few weeks, I ignored the spot.

It grew.

images (7)No big deal. Yes, the grass was growing in my mulch bed, but grass killer would take care of it when I got around to it. How many times do we assume that a behavior or a habit isn’t a big deal? Or we know it could develop into a problem, but there is no urgency in our minds. We’ll get around to it before it gets too bad.

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“I Just Can’t.”

You’ve seen her.

Cozy cardigan over a cotton tunic, skinny jeans and name brand running shoes. Hair combed just enough for the messy look to be fashionable. Just enough makeup to not feel insecure in the morning drop-off line at her kids’ school.

But you really haven’t seen her.
Because if you did your heart would break. 
Last night’s argument with her husband ended up in a sleepless night. A few hours later the toddler woke up crying. Another fever. That morning, her tween greeted her with silence, unfinished homework, and an unsigned permission slip for the field trip that day. The smelly sink disposal called for white vinegar and the main bathroom hamper overflowed with clothes. She forgot detergent during her last grocery trip.

She drove away from drop off with a beautiful smile and a wave to fellow parents while inside her soul was crushing her to death. With each heartbeat, the deep, torturing pain of hopelessness pounded against her dream of a life she would enjoy. A tear fought its way to the surface, only to be interrupted by the toddler’s feverish whimpers.

What would you say to her? What thoughts would you have when she is at the point where she whispers “I. Just. Can’t.” No religious verse can take away her present. A gentle squeeze of her hand may offer needed human touch, but still her present remains 11as it has for a few years.

 

The tragedy of emotional pain can happen to any of us. Unknowingly we have walked by the young woman whose boyfriend abruptly ended their relationship or the woman who finds herself in a place where her native tongue isn’t widely understand causing her to wander through her present all alone.

The dark night of the soul is an experience that lasts too long for most of us who’ve been in these shoes even for a moment. No matter what the status-single, married, with kids or yearning them, life can be difficult. When the fabric of our soul sheds, the danger signs appear but are unfortunately invisible unless we….unless she lets someone look deeply into her eyes.

How can we as a company of sisters help each other not fall into a living hell? Even the medical community recognizes that a prevention ethic is best. What can we do better so that one of our sisters knows that they don’t have to hide behind a smile and a wave?

Ruth 3:1  Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you?

The words “seek” and “security” give form to our compassion and empathy. Seeking involves deliberate action. I picture a person holding a telescope looking into the distance on behalf of someone else. The picture reminds me of Isaiah 21:6 which says: “Go, set a watchman, Let him declare what he sees.” Let’s discover the next steps of our sister’s life! Whether by prayer or research, we can find opportunities that our sister can take hold of to find or rediscover her value. She must realize that her present narrative is a roadblock versus a foreshadowing of her future.

Similarly we can carry vision for our sister’s life. This carrying is more than verbally affirming dreams lost by the wayside. It is stewarding her vision when she is down. The day she rises she will take it back. Ruth of this Old Testament story  was a young widow. She was in a place of transition after the death of her husband, who was Naomi’s son. Ruth was personally aimless but relying on the strength and wisdom of her mother-in-law, who was also in a place of grief and transition. Age and experience is valuable. The years in which Naomi accumulated wisdom and understanding gave her the strength to carry vision for her daughter in law’s life. In current times, this means that older mothers should remember what life can be like for a younger mother. Altruism involves prevention. No woman ever has to get to the point of giving up. Ruth was childless and a widow. She had no acceptable status in her culture. We must be proactive with checking in with our sisters with words of encouragement and offers of practical help. If they can’t find a sitter, we can bring the coffee or tea to them. We need to discard pleasant surface conversations and sit in front of them at a function and say, “How are you doing with the things on your plate?” or “Is there anything that I can pray for you about?”.

Security is essential to wellness. We can guide our sisters to a secure place. Newness can make life topsy turvy for any human being. Is our sister newly married? What about in a new job or fresh out of college? Is she newly divorced? Let’s anticipate her struggle for this segment of her journey. I don’t mean suppressing her natural emotions or allowing her to become codependent on you. A listening ear is like a soft pillow to someone who feels like the foundation is shifting under her feet. Similarly, well-timed words are described in Proverbs 16:24: Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Every mother experiences something new every few years, a birth, entry to the school phase, puberty, leaving home. Too often, we, the sisters, wait for our churches, schools and community organizations to offer classes or events . We can be the class or event on cloudy afternoon if we shift our schedules and make space to serve and be what God envisioned for sisters to be. We must protest the dividing lines of economics,race and education and be a company of sisters. Even shared faith does not matter. Life challenges all people.

If we make this a part of our lifestyle, then we won’t see her, the one with the tear finally falling as they teeter on the brink of giving up everything on this side of heaven. Her pain and her woes don’t have to be medicated with the secret stash of liquor, drugs or the darkness of her bedroom. Sisterhood was created to keep our chins up when they begin cowering, our eyes fixed when they begin to wander and our hearts strong when weariness comes close. If you are Naomi, go find a Ruth and if you happen to be Ruth, don’t hide behind a smile and a wave. Let us see your eyes.

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Saints, God is Cheering You On!

The-Journey-From-Syria-Matthew-Cassell-CeasefireHow often do we crawl into our coziest chair and gleefully open our Bibles to discover something that God wants to share with us? Consistently our God pulls us into his presence to give us the security that comes through his constant love. A child always is secure when he knows he’s loved, desired and affirmed. This is our God. He’ll never leave us or forsake us. After a time, He leads our gaze outward but only because he wants us to give out what he’s poured into us. It’s like a back and forth game that a child would play with a parent.  Maybe you’ve witnessed the cute giggles as the little girl runs to her Daddy’s lap and then runs several feet away for a few minutes only to return to her Daddy’s loving embrace.

Our view of God the Father is crucial to our wholeness. We can’t possibly run to a Father that we think is always criticizing us, watching us with a stern eye or ready to take away some of His blessings back for our bad behavior. Scripture says that the goodness of God leads us to repentance. Repentance is having a change of mindset. How ironic that by continuing to unleash his goodness towards us, we will slowly but surely change the way we think and behave for the better.

The beauty of becoming can be, if we let it, a process of brutally naked surrender to a God that whispers hope, affirms our efforts, and gives us courage for a journey that none of us are prepared for.

westmorland-story-background-july-2015Arduous but seasonal, this journey is a long adventure. I believe in a Loving Creator that does not give us more than we can bear but knows that if we glean from his wisdom and blanket ourselves in his care, we can actually face battles head on and win. We can win at parenting! We can win at adulting! We can win at reflecting Christ to our co-workers! Instead of blaming our kids, our bosses or our chaotic world, He helps us recognize the weaknesses that keep us from riding through every storm in peace. The prize is loving others better and our own spiritual maturity and emotional health.  Old baggage is burned and chains of insecurity that have made moving forward a challenge, are discarded.

No matter what your stage and season of life, you can begin to appreciate that this journey of personal transformation refines the quality of our love for others and provides a healthier well-being for ourselves.

Keep running dear saint. God is cheering you on!

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(This is an excerpt from the introduction of a manuscript that is almost finished.)

 

Believe You are Threatened? – The Crime of Belief

via Daily Prompt: Believe

Public schools today are on lockdown in Charlottesville, Virginia. My children’s private school headmaster sent an emergency email to parents about an hour ago regarding what media is calling “a social media threat”.

images (3)This threat comes because some human being believes that the massacre of Las Vegas needs to be duplicated here in Charlottesville. Apparently this human is upset about the recent Lee Statue debate and the city decision regarding it’s removal.  Our nation’s racial history is the centerpiece.

What one person believes threatens us all.

Be sure, I’m a believer… of good health and wellness, in racial equality…in Christ. I believe in home cooked meals and a daily dose of dark chocolate, as well as the freedom of speech and the freedom to peaceful protest. Keyword: peaceful. Some of my beliefs threaten someone, somewhere. For example, statists despise my belief in parental rights and those who are pro-choice are dismayed that I am a pro-life African American woman.

Does belief have to threaten at all?

As a Charlottesville resident, I’ve written posts in the past two months centering on the problem and my solution for those who feel threatened by someone else’s belief system.

“Let’s be neighbors and respect each other’s individual intellectual property when it comes to belief and speech. I learned the importance of this at a very young age as a young black girl living in a mostly white suburb.” Respect the Rules of My House

“Some whites sincerely didn’t like the end of slavery, go figure. They really believe that they are being taken over by other ethnic groups. I don’t get it, but it’s true. They’ve suppressed their anger and fear until now. Likewise some black and other minorities are tired of not only systematic and institutional racism, but also of individual encounters with these white people. Some of these white and black Americans, have stayed segregated and have no one of another race to call friend. Some don’t want that blessing.  They just want to unleash their suppressed anger.

1 John 2:11 But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

If we truly believe that humanity is a band of brothers of every tribe and tongue, then there is a disconnect between our belief and reality. While there are those in our present day who would say that some humans are genetically inferior than others, most of us shake our heads and ignore their utter stupidity and warped need for self-adulation.” Who Let The Dogs Out?

What you believe doesn’t have to threaten or offend me.
IF you are a white supremacist, I’m okay with you. I have my own belief about the reason why you believe what you believe, but I’m not bothered by what you believe about my racial identity.

IF you are atheist, I am not insulted by the nonexistence of your spiritual belief.

The issue for all of us is when belief becomes action. From proselytization to Las Vegas shootings, protests, demonstrations to political legislation, we are afraid of the consequences of individuals putting their beliefs to action.

The problem we face, collectively, is that we cannot control what others believe. We despise this reality. But belief is innate to our human species. We can prosecute crimes when they come against our life or liberty. But we cannot, and I pray that we will never be criminally punished for believing what we choose to believe.

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Lord, I Want More Than Crumbs!

“It’s his nature that provides us with revelatory insights that influence our whole identity and personality.” Graham Cooke

crumbsRevelation is heaven’s food for our spiritual nourishment. The Holy Scriptures reveal the full expression of himself that God desires to give us.

Matthew 15:27 records an incident when a Canaanite woman, born outside of the Abrahamic covenant, begged Jesus for the healing of her demon-possessed daughter.  At some point the Spirit of God had opened her mind to the reality of God’s beneficence and power to heal. Her request of Jesus reveals the earnestness of her hunger. Recognizing the fact that Jesus was Hebrew and she was not, she identifies herself as lesser in privilege yet willing to get any “crumb” he offered.

At first, he responds to her that he has only been sent to “the lost sheep of Israel”, the children of God who are deserving of his nourishing bread.

But she persists and eventually says, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”

This scripture is rich with revelation…insights that communicate to us God’s nature and intents. The two that strike me from this passage are his use of the metaphor “bread” to answer her request for healing. Notable as well are the state of her hunger, her parental need, and her persistence to pursue. These last items can be applied metaphorically to our lives today – the divine hunger to delve into the depths of Scripture in order to encounter God ourselves and see our loved ones encounter him as well. Crumbs provide temporary relief. It’s as if the woman was saying, “If my daughter can just get a day’s reprieve from her oppression, I’ll take it…I’ll take a crumb!” But we know, as a human being, she’d want to full loaf of bread.

We learn much from nature as well as God’s natural laws that govern the functions of life. Physical hunger pangs compel us to eat. I believe that we have spiritual hunger pangs as well that compel us to wonder and to chew slowly on Scripture, savoring each nugget of truth in order for every fiber of our beings to draw from Divine life.

In Matthew 15, Jesus uses the metaphor of food when speaking of healing. But the healing from demonic oppression that the woman’s daughter received was not physical, although I believe we can apply physical healing into this revelation. In this particular story, not just the daughter was healed. The mother was too. Certainly the daughter’s healing within that hour was spectacular for her and those who knew her. However, both mother and daughter received mental and emotional healing, cultural healing and the healing of their identities. Jesus’ answer to the mother’s request and his compliment about the completeness of her belief let her know that God is no respecter of persons when it comes to belief. Christians today understand this because when we are born again we become grafted into the Abrahamic covenant and its enumerable blessings. We get to “belong” based on our “belief”. Every human being is a creation of God. But not all are children of God. Belonging and being accepted by God as his child innately transcend our need for societal and cultural identity. Furthermore, Jesus’ posture – answering her request, giving her attention, ignoring the disciples’ recommendations to send her away, healed her emotionally and mentally.

As a Canaanite, she would’ve been conscious of the stares of the disciples, yet she mentally pushed through because the Holy Spirit had spoken to her that their teacher, Jesus of Nazareth, was different. Both mother and daughter had been encumbered by the sorrow, frustration and fear that the demon-possession brought.

How did the demon possession manifest? This is a point I cannot help to mention. We know from other passages in the Gospels that demons could bring physical and mental and emotional ailments. (Matthew 4:24; Matthew 9:23, Matthew 17:18; Mark 5) It really doesn’t matter whether the daughter had a demonically influenced disease or mental weakness because all of these situations cause great suffering. Nothing is too difficult for God. His “bread” is to give healing.

In another post, I intend to discuss the warrior-like persistence of a woman. The mother did not run away at the disciples’ suggestion. She held on tenaciously to a truth that she knew in her innermost being. Like a mother lion, this woman used the revelation of God’s goodness to pounce on and destroy that which was stealing the fullness of her daughter’s life. This revelation, like raw meat, she held in her teeth and would not. let. go.

God designed a woman’s body to naturally feed her unborn child through the lifeline of the umbilical cord. Revelation is our umbilical cord.  The mother first received revelation of God’s desire to heal. Yet she hadn’t received the next revelation that God actually wanted her to have more than crumbs. He gave her what she requested based on the revelation she had received up to that point.

I wouldn’t be surprised that this woman got the next revelation when the Apostle Paul went and preached to the Gentiles. Having tasted the crumbs, the reality that she could receive the whole loaf of bread like the children of Israel would have been her ultimate heart’s desire.

As children of God, have we begun to eat the full loaf of bread – spiritual nourishment – guaranteed to us through salvation? As partakers of the Abrahamic covenant, we have the the right to the full loaf but have we only eaten a few pieces?  I’ll shift this metaphorOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA slightly. Let’s be hungry for revelation that we haven’t had yet! Let’s not view God’s Words as a loaf of bread where every piece tastes the same. As we earnestly pursue the written Word we get to know and experience the presence of the living Word, Jesus Christ. After his ascension, Jesus released the Spirit of God to come and be with us and in us. Let’s ask God to whet our palettes with the desire to pursue his mysteries and unanswered questions. Let’s even seek to discover more than the small doses that one Sunday sermon gives! Lord, I want more than crumbs!

Through the Holy Scriptures God tantalizes our spiritual palettes with hints that He is better than the most benevolent human being, He is more beautiful than the setting sun, and He is more faithful than the sunrise.  We cannot help but delve deeper and begin to swallow, first passages that are easy for our human understanding to comprehend, then later divine realities that answer our most difficult questions and satisfy our mysterious spiritual longings.

Humankind was created by an uncreated Being whose depths are unsearchable yet who beckons us to search.  His nature is soon discovered and as we learn how to interact with him by sitting in silent wonder, singing heartfelt praise or studying his digestible Word, we are changed. We are transformed. (Romans 12) We consent to belong to him — forever a child needing His “revelatory insight”. images

He answered and said to them, “Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven” Matthew 13:11

 

 

Lord, fill us with wonder as we read your Word and sit in your Presence. Let us not be satisfied with all that we’ve learned so far in the Bible, from sermons or through books. Give us the excitement and courage to venture into scriptures that we’ve wondered about. Lead us Holy Spirit to know you – as much as a human being can – in all your glory! Bring us revelation today. We want more than crumbs. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Mommy or Me: Who is first?

Ages and Stages Part 4 Mommy or Me: Who is 1st? (Repost from 2014)

bw profileI think I was in my upper-twenties when the dawning occurred. “I” had become lost in the role of “Mommy”. The decision to be a stay-at-home mom cost us financially but rewarded us with the certainty that we could completely oversee our children’s formative years and we could home educate them, teaching each subject according to a Biblical worldview.

Sure, I loved strolling to the playground, attending story-time at the library, and visiting friends 3-4 times per week. But I also loved writing, playing the piano, and learning whatever I could about God.

I never wanted to forsake my “personhood” for the roles that I’ve been blessed with. As much as being a wife and mother delighted me, I knew that I had been endowed by my Creator with certain gifts, talents and missions to accomplish while on this earth.Deep within

Some young mothers get caught in the cage of “I have no time for me.” Ladies, whether we work in the marketplace, at home or not at all, we have to make time for ourselves and I know it ain’t easy. I thank God for the friends that became like family. They encouraged me to nurture my interests even though my husband worked 80-90 hours per week back then.

As moms, we can make it work. Our dreams really can come true…one day. For me original bedtimes stories became the inspiration for a fiction series that I started called The Ages of Laus Perennis. My passion for prayer, teaching and personal ministry grew as my husband and I began to attend various East Coast conferences that equipped us for future roles within our local church.

I remember playing piano for a Baptist church, sitting my one year old daughter on my lap and teaching her to keep her hands on her thighs so that I could reach around her to play the piano. Since I had no babysitter I had to make it work. 543159_570549866336064_696008493_nMany times I had to volunteer to host something in order to be a part, especially when there was no money for a babysitter. My kids would play quietly in their rooms or be in bed while a prayer meeting or bible study was going on, or the “baby at the time” would just sit on my lap.

You know the adage: “where there is a will there is a way.” Really, this is quite true. God wants us to enjoy life. Since He doesn’t want us to shrug off our motherhood, He shows us how to juggle the duties of these roles with the wonderful interests, talents and missions that make us come alive. After all, He gave us those interests, talents and missions.

I wouldn’t trade motherhood for the world! I’m a strong advocate of parental rights. I love having so many children and I love their wide age range. It isn’t always easy, but I applaud God for the choice He made for my life.

What opportunities are waiting for you? What doors are open but you haven’t noticed them? Being an author, intercessor, friend, gardener, DIY-er, home chef ( I LOVE to invent recipes), songwriter, worship musician, Castle TV show junkie, and home educator enables me to be fully me.

We are better parents when we give ourselves time and attention, not by neglecting our kids or spouses, but by heeding the wisdom of our Father.

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Father, Your desire is to continually guide us, for our desire to be satisfied in scorched places, and for our bones to be strong; so that we will be like a watered garden. (Isaiah 58:11) As we faithfully fulfill our family roles and spend time with You, show us how to use every deposit that You’ve given us, that You may be glorified and we may be satisfied.